


The wounds will heal and the pain will subside

by SapphireLuna8768610



Category: Shazam! (2019)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Big Sisters, Billy Batson Needs a Hug, Billy is a jerk, Billy please just talk to Freddy, Brother Feels, Brother-Sister Relationships, Brotherly Bonding, But not bad enough to stop, Changed original summary, Clark has a slight cameo in this, Embarrassment, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Conversations, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotionally Repressed, Freddy Freeman is a Good Bro, Freddy is such a cutie, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hugs, I Tried, I WOULD DIE FOR THESE BOYS, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I feel so bad for putting them through this, I promise, I'm Bad At Summaries, Im tired but not tired enough to sleep all the time, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, It Gets Better, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Letting walls down, Mary is a good big sister, Opening Up, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Poor Billy, Poor Freddy, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Seriously someone hug this child, Slow To Update, Suicidal Billy Batson, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Tags Are Hard, WHAT IS SLEEP, Warning: Triggers, Why Did I Write This?, Worried Freddy Freeman, but I love him, cause I was no longer satisfied with it, mwahahahaha, oh well, talks, who needs sleep?, whoops my hand slipped, yay
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-28
Updated: 2019-12-17
Packaged: 2020-07-08 18:47:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19874335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SapphireLuna8768610/pseuds/SapphireLuna8768610
Summary: Billy is at the point where he just doesn’t know what to do anymore.His mother didn’t want him, other families didn’t want him.It would only be a matter of time until his newfound family didn’t want him anymore.He just didn’t know if he’d be able to handle it again...Why not save himself the pain?





	1. I'll draw you a picture, I'll draw it with a twist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Freddy Freeman knew something was up with his foster brother. He just couldn't figure out what.

Billy Batson was tired. He didn'tknow why, he was just tired. It wasn't the typical type of tired where if one were to close his or her eyes and get a good night's rest the exhaustion would just magically fade away. No, it was the type of tired where no matter how much rest he got it never changed anything. 

Even when he did try to sleep he found some nights he couldn't no matter how hard he tried, and that utterly frustrated him. Nightmares haunted him left and right and every single one of them ended the same way. They ended with him shooting up in bed, drenched in a cold sweat and scream stuck in his throat. He would have to hold back sobs in fear of waking Freddy up. 

It wasn't a surprise to him that he had grown emotionally attached to his foster family. Well, now that he thought about it he supposed it sort of was. He hadn't grown attached to anyone in a long time--years even. Most would assume growing up on the streets one's whole life is far from the best and they were right. 

Billy had to admit, he had struggled the first three years without having a warm home in the winter or an air-conditioned apartment in the hot summers. Though after year three Billy had grown accustomed to the street life and knew his way around.He knew how to pickpocket and monkeyshine--shit, he had even once taught himself how to hardwire a car. Billy had promised himself he would never try that again however, because the second time he got caught and was chased down the street by an intimidating man who he had eventually lost. 

As far as closeness and trust and friendships went, Billy had made a few friends. He trusted people. Most of them he lost whether it be they turned out not to be friends at all, stealing money and items from him and the others he had lost complete contact with. That was how Billy learned the hard way that you can never truly trust someone, and at the end of the day the only person you can really depend on is yourself. 

He learned to never get too attached the hard away as well. When he was thrown out of his previous foster homes. The brunette did indeed run away from good people, but it still hurt to know that they didn't want him back. He hadn't meant to reject anyone in the first place. All that was on his mind was looking out for himself and finding his mother. After getting thrown out of his third home, he had stopped growing attached all together and started just running away. He wanted to reject them before they could reject him. 

Billy initially hated the idea of going into yet another foster home after he had been caught and dragged in for a final time. He didn't need a family. He didn't need  anyone . He still recalled the bitterness and frustration flowing through his veins when the woman at the agency had told him he couldn't be on his own until he was eighteen. 

The teen practically  prayed for that day to come the minute he got into Rosa and Victor's car.

Upon meeting the family Billy felt rather awkward. It wasn't exactly the warmest welcome except for Darla who had basically barreled into the older boy's chest the minute she laid eyes upon him, wrapping her arms around his torso in an crushing embrace and successfully startling the boy. 

Billy was also surprised at how friendly Freddy was when he first met him. He had found it pretty weird and annoying to start with there was no denying that, but over time Billy had come to find Freddy's optimism, high level of energy and obsession with superheroes more amusing rather than annoying. 

Not having parents were one thing, but not having a big sister was a whole new level. Mary seemed pretty nice upon meeting her and he was bewildered when she had talked to him when he was Shazam and instead of being happy, she was sad she had gotten accepted to her college. Because she was afraid of leaving her family behind. 

Billy was certain he sounded more apathetic than wise, but at the time what else was he supposed to say? He himself was the only person he had to look out for throughout the years, nobody else. He supposed that perhaps if he had a younger sibling or a sibling that was his age, or two to look out for as well his response would've been a lot different.

He can't help but wonder if he would've been as much of an asshole at the beginning if  had grown up on the streets with siblings. 

......He doubted it. He would've been as determined to find his mother either way, regardless of the circumstances.

Billy didn't want to grow close to Rosa at first in fear of betraying his mother in sone kind of way by doing so. Truth, he saw Rosa and Victor just like all the others before them. A couple that tried way too hard only to not get very far with him. 

They had been tenacious though, and after being rejected by his blood mother and finding out his father was in jail, only then did he realize that his true family had been in front of him all along and he planned on not screwing up with this one. Not any more than he had already at least. 

Billy's green eyes hardened as he thought back to his fight with Sivana. His family could have--no they  nearly died because of him. He had been the one to start this whole thing. He had been the one to run onto that subway, he had been the one to receive the powers, the one to draw Sivana to him and despite that everything was okay now the fact that they almost died broke him. 

A lump formed in his throat and he swallowed hard to get rid of it, to no avail. 

What if.....

What if it happened again? 

Billy immediately shoved that thought out of his head. That won't happen again. Because he won't allow it. He'll do anything by any means to protect his family from evil from now on, even if that means sacrificing himself. He'd rather die than see his family suffer the same fate or even worse. 

Even with that statement set firm in place, Billy found he still couldn't get rid of the aching feeling in his chest. He laid there for a little longer, unable to stop thinking about how it had been his fault and how if he hadn't been so desperate to find a mother who in the end didn't even want him, if he had been at the house then maybe things would have ended differently. 

It was his fault. All his fault. 

Done with the voices tormenting him, he sat up with a growl of frustration and hesitantly dug in his pocket, pulling out a small pocket knife that he always carried around with him. The pocket knife he carried around for  any other purposes than what he was about to do. 

Billy inhaled and exhaled deeply and steadily. Swallowing, he pulled his sleeve up and brought the blade down against his forearm and cut. The knife cut pretty deep into his arm for a pocket knife and Billy had to bite back a hiss of pain. Deep red blood trickled down his arm and he swallowed again, deciding that was enough for now. 

Gazing at the tissue box on the desk Billy walked over and took one, wiping the blood off and throwing it in the trash. He stuffed his knife back into his pocket and approached the ladder of his and Freddy's bunk bed, deciding that he was suddenly and  finally tired enough to actually sleep. 

Climbing up the ladder, he shuffled into bed and closed his eyes, mind drifting to one of the few disagreements that he and Freddy had when he first came here.

_Billy sat at the desk in his pajamas, eyes locked on his notebook as he gazed at the list of Batsons that he had already gone through and the ones that he had yet to go through. He sighed, resting his head in his hands. She was out there somewhere, she had to be he just had to find her--_

" _Dude you're still up?"_

_Billy jumped slightly at the voice directly behind him and turned to see Freddy sitting up on his bed, leaning against the headboard and gazing at him._

_"Sorry" he mumbled, turning back to his notebook. "I'll turn the light off when I go to bed in a few more minutes."_

_"What're you even doing? Are you still looking for your real mom?" Freddy questions curiously, barely managing to stifle a yawn._

_Billy glanced at him, "Why wouldn't I be?" he struggled to keep the snark out of his tone. "She's my mom."_

_Freddy shrugged, "I know, but...you've kinda got a family right here. Aren't we enough for you?"_

" _You guys are **not** my_ _ family." Billy stated icily, scribbling off a Batson that he realized he had missed earlier. "And **you** are **not** my brother."  _

_ It was silent for a good five minutes before Billy muttered, "Don't you ever wanna meet your real family? Instead of being stuck  **here** ?"  _

" _I've met my real family. They were jerks, that's why I was put here in the first place." Freddy mumbled matter-of-factly. "As far as checking up to see if they've changed, I'm good. Haven't talked to them since I've been here and don't plan to. I'm happy where I am. As far as I'm concerned,_ _**these** people in the house **are** my  **real** family."  _

_Freddy turned over on his stomach and pulled the blankets over him. "I don't plan on doing anything stupid like looking for my "real" mom who might not even want me."_

_ Billy felt anger course through his veins and bit back, "At least  someone might want me and I'm not desperate for everyone's approval."  _

" _ **We** want_ _you. Stop pushing us away and let us in. Take what you can get and don't be dumb."_

_It was silent in the room after that as Freddy went to sleep. Billy continued to gaze at his list before he groaned, deciding to pack it in for the night. He put his notebook away before turning the light off and approaching the ladder, climbing up and into bed and going to sleep himself._

* * *

Billy.  _Billy_ ." 

Billy was startled awake by someone calling his name. He thought it was Darla, but quickly figured she wouldn't be up here, at least not right now. 

Sitting up dizzily, he peered over the edge and saw Freddy at the ladder. He blinked, disoriented and bit back a yawn. 

"How long have I been asleep for?" he questioned. 

Freddy glanced at the clock, "...Like an hour." 

Billy's eyes widened, surprised that it had only been that long because one hour had felt like _five_ hours .

He was brought back to reality by Freddy speaking again. 

"Rosa wants our help with dinner so she sent me up to get you." he stated. 

"Okay." Billy uttered and got out of bed, climbing down the ladder and gripping at his arm because damn he knew it would hurt but not this bad. 

Freddy caught on and gazed at it, "What's up with your arm?" 

Billy came up with a simple lie, "must've cut it or something on accident. I'm fine, nothing to worry about. I have it all wrapped up."

Freddy looked unconvinced but didn't push the topic any further. "Okay, let's go then." 

Billy mentally breathed out in relief and he walked out of the room, Freddy close behind him. The raven haired paused and glanced at their room before shutting the door and catching up with the older. 

Billy was being weird. 

And he didn't like it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the typos (if there's any) and if it seems short at all. In my defense I haven't had sleep at all (〃＞＿＜;〃)
> 
> I'm going to try to continue this work, especially if it gets positive feedback. ＾ω＾
> 
> I hope y'all enjoyed! ＼（○＾ω＾○）／


	2. I'll draw it with a razor, I'll draw it on my wrist

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> While out with Billy, Mary begins to catch on and grows concern and suspicious of his odd behavior.

“Dude. I know something’s up with you.” 

Billy glanced haphazardly at Freddy as he shoved his books in his locker carelessly. 

“Really? What makes you say that?” He snorted, resisting the urge to roll his eyes. 

“Gee I don’t know, maybe because you’ve been acting weird as shit for the past _three_ days.” Freddy answered in irritation, and if he could he would have thrown his arms up or folded them across his chest. 

“Hm,” Billy hummed, shutting his locker door and _finally_ facing the younger. “According to you I’m always weird as shit, so tell me how this is any different?” 

“You know what I mean.” Freddy glared. 

“Nah, I don’t think I do.” Billy shrugged and began walking away from him. 

“ _Billy_!” Freddy called after him, frustrated and rushed to catch up with him. “Don’t walk away from me! Not when I can’t follow you!” 

Billy stopped in his tracks. He turned just as Freddy tripped over his own feet, and green eyes widening he rushed forward to grab his arm before the raven haired boy hit the floor. 

“That was your fault,” Freddy panted, gripping at Billy’s jacket tightly. 

This time Billy actually rolled his eyes as he helped him stand and regain his balance, “Maybe if you hadn’t tried following me you wouldn’t have almost fallen.” He bit out. 

“Maybe if you hadn’t walked away from a fucking _crippled_ kid I wouldn’t have followed you.” Freddy shot back. 

“Maybe I hadn’t walked away if that crippled kid hadn’t kept bothering me about the same topic.” Billy glowered at him as they finally walked into the lunch room. 

“Something's wrong,” Freddy stated, voice softer as they stepped into line for food. “I just want to know what so I can help you, Billy.” 

Billy inwardly cringed and cursed himself for being so weak. He swallowed and looked at Freddy, heart clenching when he saw the genuine look of concern on the raven haired boy’s face. 

“You’re worrying over nothing,” Billy told him, trying to not sound so cold. He offered a weak smile, “I’m fine, Freddy. If—If something was up, which nothing is, I’d talk to you.” 

“Promise?” Freddy asked, and Billy must have spaced out for a minute or two because he returned to reality when he felt Freddy jab him in the ribs. 

“Ow. What?” Billy questioned, annoyed. 

“ _Promise_.” Freddy insisted. 

“Okay okay, I promise.” Billy huffed. 

Freddy seemed satisfied, and Billy turned his back on him so Freddy couldn’t see him pull up his sleeve and gaze at his cuts, guilt stabbing at his heart at the thought of the dirty promise he had just made and the lie he had told. 

He pulled his sleeve back down when he saw he was next in line and stepped up to get his meal. 

* * *

The day had gone by slow for Billy. He watched his teachers teach class in disinterest, eyes constantly locked upon the clock. It seemed like forever until the final bell rang, signaling the end of the day and Billy was finally approaching the van with his siblings. 

Freddy took his casual seat next to Billy in the back and the other three sat more in the front. Billy’s mind drifted now and then, but was able to keep up with Freddy’s usual chatter about school and superheroes, able to hear him over the rest of the chatter in the van. 

The teen eventually fell silent, yawning sleepily as he gazed at his phone with his head leaning in one hand. Billy recognized it to be news on the school website about Superman being there for lunch just last week. 

Gazing out the window on his left, about halfway home Billy felt a warm weight leaning into him and glanced over to see it was Freddy, fast asleep with a somewhat relaxed expression and head resting on Billy’s shoulder. Billy allowed him to stay. This wasn’t the first time Freddy had fallen asleep on him, and this certainly wouldn’t be the last. 

By the time they were home, Freddy had awakened and Billy helped his brother out of the van. Once inside, everyone except Billy headed upstairs and Freddy sent Billy an uneasy glance before disappearing up the stairs. 

Billy allowed himself to fall onto the couch, landing against the soft pillows. It didn’t take long for him to be alone with his thoughts before he pulled out his blade and cut three horizontal cuts on each arm. He went to cut again before he heard the familiar voice of his big sister, and he quickly hid the evidence and his knife as she stepped into the room. 

“Hey Billy,” Mary greeted nonchalantly. “Rosa and Victor need me to pick up some things at the store. Wanna come with? I’d ask someone else but everyone’s busy doing their own thing.” 

Billy thought for a minute before mumbling, “Sure.” He got up and Mary smiled at him. He followed her outside where they got into the van, the drive to the store having an oddly comfortable silence. 

The market was anything but packed. If anything, it was pretty much vacant. Billy really didn’t care either way. He stayed silent as Mary rambled about different topics and merely gazed at the floor as he walked along. 

“....how was yours?” Mary asked, looking at her foster brother. 

“Huh?” Billy said, snapping out of his daze and looking at her. 

Mary frowned in slight concern. “Your day at school? How was it?” 

“Oh,” Billy swallowed, “It was, uhm...it was slow.” He stated bluntly. 

Mary nodded slowly, feeling unease make it’s way to her heart. Turning back forward and putting a can of corn into the basket, she uttered, “Billy, can you get the beans for me?” 

She heard Billy say “yeah” and a minute later “here you go”. Turning with a smile, “thanks” died in her throat and her smile dropped, blanching and letting out a sharp gasp. 

“Billy....you’re _bleeding_!” She exclaimed with an expression of worry and fear. 

Following Mary’s gaze, Billy looked down and saw a tiny pool of dark blood forming on the floor, the source being his arm. 

“ _Fuck_ ,” Billy cursed under his breath. ‘I must’ve cut too deep.’ He thought to himself. 

“It’s your arm. Let me see.” Mary said and reached out to grab Billy’s arm, freezing when Billy instantly backed away from her touch. 

“Billy...?” She asked, puzzled and hurt. 

“I—I must’ve accidentally cut it somehow, maybe in battle or at home,” Billy lied, looking away from Mary’s concerned gaze. “I’ll be right back. I’ll go take care of it in the bathroom.” 

Billy ran off without waiting for a response and headed towards the men’s restroom, locking the door behind him. 

The brunette breathed raggedly, leaning his weight onto the sink as he leaned forward and gazed into the mirror. His gaze flew to his left arm. The three wounds were oozing with dark blood. He felt slightly light-headed. 

Instead of grabbing a paper towel, he brought he blade out and pressed it down against his wrist once again. However, a small knock at the door stopped him. 

“Billy? You okay in there?” Mary asked softly from outside the door. 

Said boy shoved the knife back in his pocket and quickly grabbed a paper towel, wiping most of the blood off. 

“Y-Yeah, sorry. I’m coming!” Billy called as he finished up and threw the paper towels in the garbage can, yanking his sleeve back down. 

Billy unlocked the door and walked out, the door shutting behind him. He met the concerned face of Mary. 

“It was just a nasty cut.” He stated. “I’ll be fine. Let’s go get the rest of the beans.” 

He walked past Mary, but the girl grabbed his sleeve before he could completely pass her and the teen glanced at her with a confused look, mumbling a small “Hm?” 

“Billy...” she murmured. “Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” 

Mary began to push the topic, before shaking her head and smiling. “You’re right. I’m being ridiculous, aren’t I? Let’s go.” 

Billy quirked a brow at her, before nodding and heading back towards the basket. 

Mary’s smile dropped and she exhaled shakily before following suit. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Billy can be so relatable for me sometimes. Idk what it is about him, he’s just...relatable personality wise tbh lol I hope I’m not the only one. 
> 
> Well I hope you guys liked this chapter. Please excuse any grammatical errors, I wrote this on my phone because my tablet died. I’ll probably switch between phone and tablet now and then, I’ll do my best to correct any errors so if any others are remaining please excuse them.   
> (o^－^o)
> 
> I honestly feel so bad for Mary....she must be so worried (◕︿◕✿)
> 
> Anyways, hope you enjoyed! Reviews help a lot! Til next time, love y’all! ★~(◠‿◕✿)


	3. If I do it correctly, a red fountain will appear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The whole family becomes concerned about Billy and begins hovering much to Billy's annoyance. At dinner Billy is sick of having questions thrown at him and he snaps.

“Billy!” 

Billy let out a small ‘oof’ as Darla catapulted herself against his chest, nearly knocking him over. 

The brunette smiled softly as he knelt to her level, one arm wrapped around her as the other hand ruffled her hair a little. 

“How was your day, little sister?” Billy asks, cheeks instantly heating up the minute those words leave his mouth because they feel so unnatural. The feeling of unease goes away when Darla giggles, not giving it much mind and he smiles once again. 

“It was really great! I met a new friend today and...” 

Darla broke into chatter about her entire day, and Billy picked her up in his arms, resting one hand under her legs and another on her back as she circles her arms around his neck and leans against his chest. 

The school hallway is half-empty and Darla is almost through with her story when Freddy comes down the hall towards them. Billy cringes at how frustrated he looks. 

Darla didn’t seem to notice it however, because as soon as she followed Billy’s gaze and saw Freddy, she gasped happily. 

“Hi Freddy!” 

Billy puts Darla down and she runs toward her other elder brother just as Freddy reaches the duo, and she nearly knocks the crippled boy into the lockers with the impact of her embrace, arms wrapped tightly around his torso. 

Freddy swallows, “Hey Darla,” he greets his foster sister, trying to sound more positive than he felt. 

It’s when Darla finally lets go that Freddy sends Billy a look that says ‘You. Me. Talk. **Now**.’ 

Billy bit back a sigh and turned to Darla, “Why don’t you go find Mary? We’ll catch up with you.” 

“Okay!” Darla grinned and ran off, disappearing around the corner. 

Once Darla was gone and the boys were practically alone in the hallway, Billy leaned against the lockers, eyes locked upon the latter. 

“Speaking of Mary,” Freddy was the one to start. “She told me about what happened yesterday. Except I sincerely doubt you randomly started bleeding because you accidentally injured yourself somehow. That doesn’t make any sense, Billy.” 

His eyes narrowed at the brunette, “Why don’t you stop lying and tell everyone the truth already?” 

“What I said _is_ the truth.” Billy growled, anger flooding him. “I did accidentally injure myself. I must’ve cut it open by hitting it somehow.” 

He folded his arms across his chest and looked away, “Why the fuck are you on my ass so much about this anyways?” 

“Hm, let’s see, let me think. Oh, I know!” Freddy pointed a finger at him, “Maybe because you’re my _brother_ and I _care_ about you, I want to _help_ you but all you’ve been doing is pushing me away! You won’t even talk to me!” 

“You wanna talk? _Fine_!” Billy hissed, pushing himself off the lockers. “What do you want me to say?” 

“The _truth_!” Freddy yelled, silencing and startling Billy. The raven haired boy lowered his voice and swallowed hard, hastily wiping at his eyes before continuing. 

“I want you to tell me the truth.” He said quietly. “I want you to tell me you’re okay and actually mean it, I want you to talk _to_ me, not _at_ me, I want...” 

Freddy met Billy’s green gaze and a lump formed in the other boy’s throat at the sight of moisture in Freddy’s eyes. 

“I want you to treat me as your brother and not the person who’s been kicking you when you’ve been down your whole life. I want you to _trust_ me and let me _be_ _there_ for you. I want you to tell me that you’re not planning on doing anything stupid.” 

“Like what?” Billy pressed. 

“Like leaving or even worse, dying _intentionally_.” Freddy replied with a small, barely audible sniff.

Billy froze. He looked down mutely, scuffing his shoe at the ground, not having anything else to say. Luckily, a familiar voice was heard from behind them and relief filled him. 

“There you guys are,” Mary said as she stood in front of them, Darla’s hand in hers and Pedro and Eugene beside them. 

She frowned at the visible tension between her brothers, Freddy glaring at Billy with his hands clenched into fists and Billy avoiding his gaze, looking down at the floor. 

“Guys?” She asked. “Is...everything okay?” 

Freddy finally snorted, “I don’t know Mary. Ask _Billy_.” 

Mary glanced toward said boy, “Billy?” 

Billy resisted the urge to flip Freddy off and threw his older sister a fake grin. 

“Everything’s fine,” He stated weakly. “I’m just tired. I, uh...I’ve been feeling light-headed all day.” 

Mary’s eyes softened. “Okay. Well, let’s get home so you can catch up on some sleep. That might help.” 

Billy nodded and pushed past Freddy, who sighed and rubbed at his eyes a final time before following the group. 

* * *

At Dinnertime, everyone was chatting with one another except Billy and Freddy. The two boys stole glares at each other as they ate their meals. 

Rosa looked over at her boys and frowned at the vicious stares they were giving each other. 

“Boys?” She asked. “Is everything alright between you two?” 

Billy looked down and poked at a green bean in disinterest. “Fine.” 

“Peachy.” Freddy scoffed, stuffing a potato wedge in his mouth. 

“Oh. Okay then.” Rosa smiled uneasily, deciding not to get involved in whatever was going on with the duo. 

Billy could finally feel himself breathe, feeling Rosa’s gaze leave him. 

He frowned, hearing his phone buzz and pulled it out under the table, gazing at it. 

It was from Freddy. 

_‘Why the hell wont you just tell me what’s up with you?’_

Billy took a minute to gather his thoughts before texting back. 

‘ **It’s complicated.’**

_’I’m only “on your ass” because I care about you, asshole.’_

Billy allowed a bitter smirk to tug at his lips. 

**’I know.’**

_’Nah, don’t think you do. I know you’re hiding something, Billy.’_

Billy didn’t get a chance to answer as he distantly heard Rosa call his name and he put his phone away, giving a sheepish look. 

He cleared his throat awkwardly, “Sorry, What?” 

“I was asking if you were alright,” Rosa frowned softly. “You seem out of it a lot lately.” 

Billy smiles. “I’m okay. Really.” 

“No.” Freddy hissed and Billy snapped his head at him. “No, he _isn’t_. He’s been acting weird all week!” 

“ _Freddy_!” Billy growled warningly. 

“I’ve heard you’ve been falling asleep a lot in class lately,” Victor swallowed. “Are you getting enough rest throughout the night?” 

“ _Yes_ ,” Billy chokes out desperately. “I am, I just—“ 

“are you sure you’re not sick?” Mary asks in concern from across the table. 

Billy swallowed hard, “I feel fine. Really—“ 

Freddy glared at him. “ _Stop_ lying!” He exclaimed. 

Billy glowered back, “Freeman I will fucking _end_ you—“

Thousands of questions were thrown at him at once from all of his family members. Billy shoved his head in his hands, head hurting from all the stress and the mixed voices. Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. 

Billy stood up so fast his chair fell over behind him. 

“ _I’m fine!!_ ” He yelled and panted heavily, hands clenched into fists at his sides. The brunette froze up when he saw the shocked and hurt expressions of the others, including Freddy. 

He scrambled backwards, feeling lightheaded. “Sh-shit, I’m sorry...” he stammered and tripped over his own chair. He would have fallen if not for Victor, and he instantly pushed away from the man’s chest, regaining his balance before running upstairs and ignoring his family calling after him. 

He needed to get out for a while. He needed an escape. 

_Now_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I honestly find it so stressful when people are really worried about me to the point where they’re throwing different questions at me all at one time. I know they’re worried but it’s still stressful. It’s happened to me once or twice, so I can relate. Poor Billy. (╯_╰)
> 
> Thank you so much for the support so far, keep the kudos and the kind comments up! It means a lot!   
> （●＾U＾●）
> 
> Hope you all enjoyed! ‘Til next time, love y’all!  
> ( •́ .̫ •̀ )


	4. To take away my pain and wash away my fear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy goes out and stays away from home longer than usual and doesn't come home until late at night. 
> 
> Freddy is sick of all the lying and secret keeping.

The family is left in stunned silence as they watched Billy rush upstairs. Mary makes a move to follow him, but Victor holds up a hand and stops her. 

“No,” he says softly, and Mary frowns at him. “I think he wants to be alone right now, honey.” 

Mary hesitates, glancing at Rosa who nodded in agreement and she swallowed, sitting back down. 

Freddy swallowed audibly and stood up, “May I be excused? I don’t feel that well.” He normally wouldn’t have lied, but he wanted to see where Billy went and he didn’t want his family to stop him.

Rosa frowned at him, “Of course. Go lay down for a little bit, it’ll make you feel better.” 

Freddy smiles gratefully at his foster mother and leaves the dinner table, making his way towards the staircase and up the stairs. 

He frowned once he saw the door flung open and he picked up his speed, tripping and nearly falling several times.

Once inside the room, he noticed the widow wide open and approached it, gazing outside.

No Billy.

Freddy gritted his teeth, tears of frustration filling his eyes.

“Damn it,” he muttered under his breath.

* * *

Shazam landed on a rooftop and stared out at the city for a few heartbeats before uttering “Shazam”. 

It wasn’t as loud and confident as it usually was, and the word was barely a whisper but it still left his lips, and with one electric voltage later he was back to Billy Batson.

Billy sat down, his legs dangling over the edge. 

He thinks about all that’s happened over this past week, and the venomous thoughts send tears to his eyes that he blinks hard against. 

A single tear slides down his cheek and he quickly wiped it away, exhaling shakily through his nose as he gazed down at the streets below. 

Before he knew what he was doing, he pulled out his knife and cut, except he cut a whole lot deeper than any of his other wounds. The line was thick and deep, dark blood instantly oozing out and his chest heaved slightly as he gasped in pain. 

Despite how much it hurt, he found he couldn’t stop. He continued to cut on his other arm just as deep, blood seeping out and some spilling onto the concrete. 

The teen felt like a drug addict. He was addicted to the pain, and even if he wanted to stop, he knew he couldn’t. Despite how much it hurt him, he felt for some kind of fucked up reason it was meant to _help_ him. 

Almost like......

It was what he _deserved_ , and even to him it sounded strange but that didn’t stop him. 

Two minutes later, he was both annoyed and relieved that his phone went off. He snatched it and unlocked it, gazing at the texts in front of him. They were all from Freddy, the texts getting more desperate the more time passed. 

_‘Billy, where the fuck are you?? You can’t just run out like that!’_

_‘Where are you? Me and Mary went out but we couldn’t find you anywhere.’_

_’Billy, answer me.’_

_‘I fucking swear Billy, you better not be doing anything stupid!’_

_‘Get your ass home. It’s getting late.’_

_‘Billy, come on. Everyone’s getting worried and they’re looking at me. What am I supposed to tell them?’_

_‘Are you fucking happy now? You made Darla cry because she’s so worried about you. Come back and show her you’re okay.’_

_‘Mary’s been trying to call you, why haven’t you answered???’_

_‘You promised me you’d talk to me. Are you really about to play asshole and break it?’_

_‘Billy, please...talk to me. All I’m asking is that you talk to me.’_

_‘I promise, whatever it is, I’m not going to think any less of you, just please tell me what’s going on with you.’_

_‘Please...’_

_’Billy, please...’_

_’At least tell me you’re safe. Please.’_

_‘Please answer me, Billy...please....’_

Billy gazed at the most recent text that was sent just fifteen minutes ago. 

_‘Dude come on, I’m begging here. Look, if I’ve been a jerk lately im sorry but this is a pretty fucked up way to get back at me. Just...just tell me you’re okay...shit, Billy, please...please be okay...’_

Billy swallowed hard, fingers hovering over his keyboard. He sighed and gave in, fingers tapping quickly on the screen. 

_**‘I’m okay, Freddy.’** _

Billy laid down on his back and waited for his foster brother to respond, gazing up at the stars that sparkled like crystals in the midnight black sky. 

His phone buzzed about 45 seconds later and he pulled it back out. 

_‘Dude thank God, I was so fucking worried. Where are you?’_

**‘Somewhere.’** He responded simply, not having the energy to explain too much. 

_‘Don’t pull that with me, Batson. It’s nearly midnight. Where. Are. You?’_

**’It doesn’t matter.’** He sends, and before Freddy can reply he quickly adds, **‘Cause I’m coming home.’**

_‘When?’_

Billy starts to reply, however he pauses when he hears a cry of dismay. It sounded like it was coming from down below.

Sitting up, Billy peered over the edge and saw a young woman struggling to pull away from a man who seemed to be attempting to grab her and take her away. 

Billy scowled and gave Freddy his answer. 

**‘After I take care of something.’**

* * *

“ _Where were you?_ ” 

It’s not a question. It’s a demand. 

Billy turned to look at Freddy who was glowering furiously at him, arms folded across his chest. 

“ _Out_ , Freddy,” Billy sighed in exasperation, “It’s not like I was in danger or anything. You’re making a big deal out of nothing.” 

Freddy scoffed, “out of _nothing_? Seriously?? Dude, you freak out because everyone’s crazy worried about you, which they have a good reason to be and you run out of the house. Then, _then_ , you stay out for _way_ longer than usual. An hour and a half turns into _three_ fucking hours, forcing me and Mary to go out and look for you to no avail. I was worried out of my mind, Billy, and you have the nerve to say it’s over _nothing_!?”

Billy looks away and Freddy continues. 

“ _No_. You don’t get to say that, because this _isn’t_ nothing. What if something had happened to you!? I would have never known! You’re pissed at me because apparently I’m acting like some kind of overprotective mother or something, but you’ve only got _yourself_ to blame for that! What did you _expect_!? That I just _wouldn’t give a shit_ if you were to get hurt out there tonight!? I mean, fucking disappearing and not answering any of my texts?? What did you believe, huh? That I’d be _happy_ that you died, or I just downright wouldn’t care if that happened!?”

Freddy swallows, “Look, maybe the people before me wouldn’t have cared, but here’s the thing you constantly forget; I _do_ care and I _would_ care, and I _swear_ that _better_ not ever happen, you better not _ever_ go out there and die on me. I thought something _happened_ tonight, Billy, you can’t just run out like that.” 

Freddy looks at Billy and the brunette can clearly see the hurt shining in the younger’s eyes. “I’m gonna be honest. You can push me away as hard and as far away as you want but let me tell you, no matter how many times you do it I’m _always_ gonna come back. Whether you like it or not we’re family, we’re brothers, and that means being there for each other not kicking one another down. You’ve been acting weird, and I don’t care what it takes, I’m _gonna_ find out what’s up with you.”

”on that note,” Freddy huffed as he sat down on his bunk. “We’re gonna talk. Right here, right now. And there’s no running away this time.”

Billy feels trapped. He desperately searches for a way out mentally, and eventually came up with the most simple one. 

“Alright,” he mumbled. “Just...let me go to the bathroom first.” 

Freddy shrugs mutely, and Billy takes that as permission to go. The teen walks past the raven haired boy and out of the room, down the hall and into the bathroom. He locks the door behind him. 

Billy pulls his sleeve up, pulls his blade out and mindlessly continues to cut. The deeper he goes, the more dark the blood becomes and more pain gets sent to his brain but he doesn’t care. 

He cuts more and more, to the point where he’s beginning to feel light-headed. He gazed at the blood on his arms, almost mesmerized. 

Billy nearly jumped at the sound of hesitant knocking at the bathroom door. ‘Fuck, fuck, fuck!’ He thought in panic and hastily shoved his blade in his pocket, pulling his jacket sleeve over his arm before answering. 

“Uh who is it?” He called out not trusting his voice. 

“Just me,” Billy heard Freddy say from the other side of the door and he slightly relaxed yet he was still pretty tense. 

“Are you okay? You’ve been in here for the past twenty minutes.” 

Billy cringes because shit it’s been _that_ long? He swallowed hard before responding. 

“‘M fine Freddy. Nothing to worry about”

He tries to sound as convincing as he can, but he just knows Freddy isn’t buying it as he doesn’t hear the younger walk away from the door. 

“Billy you’ve been acting weird for a while now. I _sincerely_ doubt you’re okay and there’s nothing to worry about.” 

“I’m  _fine_. ” Billy bites out. 

“Yeah?” Freddy accepts the challenge. “Then let me in and see you’re fine.” 

“What!? No I’m on the toilet!” 

“ _Stop lying_!”  Billy freezes at the harsh tone of Freddy. The raven haired boy softened his voice. “Let me in. Show me you’re okay. Please.” 

Billy’s heart twists at the pleading tone and finds that all the fight has left him. He hated how his brother always found a way to make him cave in. 

The brunette huffed and trudged over to the door, unlocking it and opening it up allowing the other boy to step inside, shutting the door behind him.

Billy leans against the sink countertop and folds his arms across his chest, giving a small shrug. “Well as you can see I’m okay so...” 

Freddy ignores his comment and glares at him. “Why were you really in here for so long, Billy?” 

Billy paused then mumbled, “upset stomach. Little bit of food poisoning.” He lies straight through his teeth. 

Freddy’s suspicion grew. “What are you talking about? You’ve had Rosa’s food plenty of times it never gave you food poisoning before, and we haven’t eaten out in a really long time.”

Billy snorted, “What does it even matter? Look you don’t have to worry—“

“Apparently I _do_ because you’ve been freaking everyone out!” Freddy exclaimed angrily, cutting him off. “You’ve been pushing everyone away acting like—“ 

Freddy paused and swallowed hard. “Acting just like you did when you first came here.” He looked away and ran a finger through his curls in frustration. “Just when I thought you were getting somewhere—that  _you and I were_ getting somewhere! Just when I thought you were done pushing me away and I believed you _finally_ trusted me, you _continue_ to ignore me like I’m some kind of idiot!” 

Billy glared and threw his arms up in anger. “I don’t think you’re an idiot Freddy! It’s just I’m clearly fine and there’s nothing to— _shit_ !” 

Billy involuntarily hissed as the searing hot white pain in his right arm hit him hard and he lowered it, gripping at it tightly.

He quickly regretted his open display of agony because he heard Freddy distantly question, “What was that? Are you okay?” 

The older bit back another hiss, “I’m fine.” He lied for a final time and Freddy was done, completely done with being lied to. 

Freddy lurched forward and pinned the other boy against the countertop, ignoring the brunette’s angry protests. 

“Hey! Freddy get off!” Billy exclaimed and tried to pull away repeatedly to no avail. The superhero-loving fanatic grabbed both his arms and his stomach dropped. 

“Freddy,  _don’t_ .” He warned lowly but once again the other ignored him. 

Freddy had no idea why Billy was making such a big deal out of this. If he was injured in battle somehow the younger only wanted to help him, he wanted to make sure any kind of wound didn’t get infected and—

Freddy froze at the sight before him once he rolled up Billy’s sleeve. 

Oh no. 

No no no no no no no no no. 

It was nothing he was expecting. It wasn’t some kind of wound or every day injury, no it was cuts. _Voluntary_ cuts . They littered Billy’s arm and stopped below his shoulder. Some were open and still bleeding heavily. Those were the freshest ones, the ones Billy must have just made before he walked in here. Breath hitching Freddy yanked Billy’s other sleeve up and was greeted by the same exact gruesome, heart wrenching sight. 

Tears burned in his soft eyes and he slowly looked up at his brother who met his solemn gaze.

“Why—How...” Freddy’s voice is thick with tears and trembling, “How long have you been doing this?” 

Billy flinched when he saw a single tear slide down Freddy’s freckled cheek. He huffed again, “About a week..” he confessed. 

Freddy choked, “A  _week_ ?” 

All this time his brother’s been cutting himself, probably planning on _killing_ _himself_ and he had no clue this whole time. He probably got up in the middle of the fucking night, probably hid in their room when he was away and cut and he never even fucking noticed and that  _crushed_ Freddy . 

“Why are you...why didn’t you tell me?” Freddy asked, another tear streaking his cheek and others following close behind it. 

Billy merely shrugged mutely. 

The sight of fresh blood on Billy’s arm caught Freddy’s attention and he swallowed. 

“Jesus...Billy, let me help you.” 

Freddy tried to touch one of the wounds but Billy yanked his arm away, causing the younger’s heart to ache. 

“Billy...” he felt a warm lump forming in his throat and suddenly it was impossible to swallow. “ _Please_ .” He begged softly. 

Hard green eyes met Freddy’s soft ones and Billy’s own softened slightly at the sight of desperateness that shone in Freddy’s. Billy snorted, lowering his guard and gave a curt nod that gave permission.

Freddy exhaled shakily and turned to lock the door. Once he did he moved to the medicine cabinet, pulling out the bag of cotton swabs, some Neosporin and gauze. 

Billy followed the other boy as he sat down on the closed toilet seat. He knelt so he was at Freddy’s level and the raven haired boy immediately began dabbing at the wounds with the smallest amounts of blood first with some cotton swabs. Once he was done with those he carelessly threw them into the garbage can. He then yanked one of the towels off a wrack and applied pressure to one of Billy’s badly bleeding wounds, the brunette biting back a hiss.

It was silent as Freddy pressed the towel to Billy’s wrist and Billy gazed at the ground.

“I’m sorry” Freddy speaks and Billy gave him an incredulous look that basically said ‘ _what the hell are you talking about, this has nothing to do with you’._

Freddy ignored the look, “I should’ve noticed. I should’ve noticed a lot sooner and talked to you about it.” 

Billy snorted, “Freddy there’s no way you could have noticed. It’s not like I talked to anyone about it.” 

“Who’s fault is that?” Freddy glared and Billy shifted uncomfortably. “Fuck...Billy, do you know how dangerous this is!? You can die!” 

“You say that as if it would be a bad thing,” Billy mumbled under his breath, but the thing about being this close to someone was they can hear everything you say, no matter how low you say it and Freddy heard it loud and clear. 

Freddy’s eyes flashed, “ _What_ ?” He bit out, feeling anger boil in him. “As if you dying would be a _good_ thing ! Maybe for some _fucked_ _up_ reason it would be good for  _you_ , but let me tell you it _wouldn't_ be for this family! How could you even _think_ for a minute that we wouldn’t break if death were to claim you, especially like _this_!?” 

The brunette didn’t answer and fresh tears sprang into Freddy’s eyes, “Shit Billy, say something! Please!” The raven haired boy’s throat felt constricted and sobs bubbled in his chest. “Did I do something?”

Billy’s eyes widened in shock, the question taking his breath away and he looked at Freddy, who’s gaze was locked upon his arm and was applying pressure and wiping the remaining dark, ink-like crimson blood that had originally been streaming like a water fall but had now stopped oozing and was still, but Freddy was far too upset to feel relief. 

“Did I do something wrong?” Freddy continued, struggling to keep his surfacing sobs in check as tears ran down his face, some dripping off his chin and mixing in with the remaining blood on Billy’s wound. “Did _I_ do something to make you do  _this_ ? What did I do? What did I say? Whatever it was, I promise I won’t do it ever again and I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—“

“Freddy—“ Billy tried, only to be cut off. 

“— I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I won’t do it anymore I’m sure I was just j-joking or angry and I didn’t mean it, I  _swear_ I didn’t mean it, please—“

“Freddy.” 

“—I’m s-sorry Billy, I’m sorry I fucked up so bad, just please don’t—“ 

“Freddy!” Billy exclaimed, and said boy finally shut up with his guilty rambling. He stared at his lap, chest heaving as he panted uncontrollably, hands trembling. 

Billy stays silent for a minute, racking his brain for any kind of comforting explanation, but alas all he can come up with is, “You’re not why I’m doing this.” 

Freddy swallows a sob, “Then  _why_ ?”

“I.....” Billy starts, but he trails off, finding he had nothing else to say. Freddy had nothing more to say as well, the sobs he had been holding back surfacing and he hiccuped as he sobbed, putting his head in his hands. 

Billy was unsure of what to do. Stay with Freddy or get up and leave, pretending none of this ever happened. 

The older boy settled for staying with Freddy. He stood and grabbed at Freddy’s arm, awkwardly pulling him to his feet and yanking him into a rough hug. 

Freddy instantly clung to him, pressing his forehead to Billy’s shoulder and bawling hysterically, mumbling “I’m sorry” over and over between heavy and muffled sobs, hiccups and gasps. 

Billy remained silent, holding his foster brother as he continued to cry. He glanced at the abandoned, bloodied pocket knife on the right of the bathroom sink. 

‘ _Now look what you’ve done.’ It mocked him. ‘Hurt hurt hurt, that’s all you ever do.’_

The teen was brought back to reality by the feel of a hand fisting his shirt, warm tears on his neck where Freddy’s face now rested and the raven haired’s weak croak of his name through a thick sob. 

“B-Billy?” Freddy choked with a hiccup. 

“Hm?” Billy hummed subtly in response, inwardly cringing at how cold he sounded. 

He heard a fresh set of sobs escape Freddy and he trembled violently underneath Billy’s hold.

“ _P-Please don’t leave...I’m so sorry....”_ He begged tearfully. 

Freddy went silent after that, sobbing harder and grip on Billy tightening so hard the latter didn’t have the heart to tell him he was crushing his ribs. 

Ignoring the throb of pain in his ribcage, he settled on, “I’m sorry too.”

* * *

Alternate Ending A

"...On that note, we're gonna talk. Right here, right now. And there's no running away this time." 

Billy felt trapped. He didn't know what to do. He could feel his nails biting into his palms as he clenched his fists in frustrated apprehension. 

"I can sit here all night, Billy." 

Said teen drifted back to reality at these words and he glanced over to see Freddy propped up against the headboard, gazing at him with an expression consisting of a mixture of worry and...pain?

Freddy swallowed, "You're not getting out of this. Not this time." 

It was Billy's turn to swallow thickly. "What if I leave?" 

Freddy frowned. "Leave?" He repeated and then shrugged. "I mean, I guess you could. Just know that every time you leave I'll drag your ass back here. In case you've forgotten I have superpowers too now." 

Billy didn't forget. How could he ever forget that overjoyed look on his brother's face when he found out he could fly?

Freddy was his best friend. His mischievous, sailor-mouthed partner in crime. His _brother._ Billy _wanted_ to trust him. 

And yet....

Billy swallowed thickly again, "How do I know I can trust you?" 

He felt horrible the minute the question left his mouth, but he couldn't help it. 

Freddy seemed startled by this and his frown deepened. "I.....I really don't know what you want me to say to that. I mean...I trust _you._ After all we've been through I have no reason not to. You can talk to me about _anything_ , Billy. I mean sure on certain topics I'll make jokes or something but if you need me to be serious I will be. Whatever this is, if it's bad I'm not going to disown you or anything. I only want to help." 

Billy felt himself crack at Freddy's pleading stare and sighed, sitting down on the edge of the latter's bed. 

"What would you do if...if I left?" He asked quietly. 

Freddy's eyes narrowed at this, "I already told you--" 

"No. Not like that, Freddy." 

The raven haired looked confused. Billy watched as the boy beside him thought for a moment, and then became visibly shaken as he caught on a minute later. 

"Oh," Freddy rasped. " _Oh._ We're talking about _that_ kind of leave." 

He shook his head, "You--You _can't_ leave, Billy. What about your family?" 

"What family?" Billy mumbled. 

Freddy glowered at him, "I'm going to pretend you didn't just say that. _Us_ , Billy. _Me._ You think we wouldn't be crushed if

you--" 

Freddy cut himself off, swallowing hard and trying to get rid of the lump in his throat. "You think _I_ wouldn't be sad if you... _killed yourself_?" He managed to choke. 

He sniffed. "What brought this on anyways? Is it those assholes at school?" 

Billy's eyes widened and he shook his head. " _What? No._ I'd never let those dickwads get to me like that." 

"Then tell me what it is. Did _I_ do something?" 

Billy swallowed. "No." 

It was silent for a few minutes. 

Freddy abruptly questioned, "Do you, uhm...do you...you know..." he muttered, unable to say it. 

Billy knew the unspoken question. _Do you self-harm?_

The brunette nodded. "...Yeah." He admitted. 

Freddy sniffed again, struggling to keep his emotions at bay. "Can--Can I see it?" 

Billy bit his lip, unsure. Freddy noticed his cautious gaze and shakily exhaled. 

"Please Billy." He begged softly. 

Said teen gave in after a minute of hesitance and allowed Freddy to take his arm. 

Freddy slowly rolled up Billy's sleeve. Hot tears sprang into his eyes at the sight of scars and cuts covering his older brother's arm. They were so deep, so big. 

"Dude, _why_..?" Freddy croaked as a tear that he didn't bother to wipe away streaked down his cheek. 

Billy didn't have it in him to answer. He glanced at the clock that read 11:35 p.m. 

"Can we talk about this in the morning?" Billy found himself asking tiredly. 

"Promise me you'll still be here by then." Freddy sniffled in response, finally wiping his face. 

"I will be, Freddy." Billy promised quietly. 

Freddy nodded silently, letting go of Billy's arm. Billy got off Freddy's bed and approached the ladder, climbing up onto his own bed. 

Pulling the covers up on him, he drifted into a restless and guilt-filled slumber. 

* * *

Alternate Ending B

Freddy glanced anxiously at the clock on the wall for the millionth time as he sat alone on the couch, watching TV. 

"...Just come home, alright Billy? Freddy's getting worried and so am I. Come home safe, okay? We love you. Bye." 

Freddy gazed at Mary as she walked into the living room, staring down at her phone with worry strewn across her face. 

"He _still_ hasn't answered?" Freddy questioned apprehensively. 

Mary sighed, shaking her head. "He clearly wants to be alone right now. Let's let him come back on his own. Forcing him will only make things worse."

Freddy looked like he wanted to protest, but instead shut his mouth and looked down as Mary sat down next to him. 

"Do you think he's okay?" Freddy asked quietly. 

Mary managed a weak smile, "I'm sure he is. Don't worry, Freddy." 

It felt so backwards right now to said teen because it was usually _Freddy_ that assured _Mary_ everything was alright. 

Or Billy. 

The thought of his brother made his concern grow and he slumped slightly, but for Mary he faked a grin. 

"Yeah, okay." He breathed. 

For the next half-hour, he and Mary watched TV together whilst laughing and talking, and during that time Freddy was able to forget about the situation. 

After a while, Mary let out a small yawn and turned to her little brother. 

"Well I'm going to bed," She smiled. "Try not to worry too much about Billy, okay? He'll be back." 

"Okay." Freddy croaked tiredly. 

Mary stood and kissed his head, causing the younger to blush in embarrassment. She told him goodnight one more time before turning and walking away to and up the stairs. 

Freddy watched the television for a few more minutes before he grew sleepy as well. He yawned, grabbing the remote and switching the television off and picked himself up before walking upstairs. 

The raven haired teen yawned again as he switched on the slight to his and Billy's room. A confused frown crossed his face when he noticed a small note on his bed as he got closer. 

What the hell? 

Freddy sighed as he picked it up and began reading it. 

He was too tired for this--

Abruptly, the boy's eyes widened and he visibly paled as he read over the piece of paper. His hand began trembling and the note fell from his hand. 

_"Billy."_ He choked in fear. 

* * *

"Ow! Shit..." 

Billy cursed in pain, hissing as he pushed the blade deep into his wrist, causing blood to erupt from the open cuts. 

He sighed as he gazed at all of the cuts and scars that covered his wrists and arms. 

Shoving the knife in his pocket, the teenager stood and walked over to the edge, peering down below. 

It didn't look like a very long fall. It didn't look like a short one either. 

Exhaling shakily, Billy stood at the very top. Slowly but surely, he closed his eyes. Allowed himself to lose his balance. 

And _fell._

It felt like forever. After a while, Billy became suspicious. Why hasn't he felt anything yet? Shouldn't he have--

Billy grunted in agony. It felt like he was thrown against something. But he could still feel and hear his heart. He was still breathing. 

What was going on?

"Billy, what the _hell_!?" 

Billy's stomach dropped. He knew that voice. 

The brunette slowly opened his eyes to be met with the angry, teary-eyed face of Super Freddy. He noticed that he had been shoved against a wall, the latter's fist gripping his shirt so hard it shook. 

"Freddy?" Billy swallowed quietly. He hadn't been this nervous for a _long_ time. 

Super Freddy's eyes only narrowed further. "Yeah, no duh asshole! What the fuck were you thinking!? Killing yourself?! And only leaving behind a note for me to feel like a useless, worthless piece of crap?? _No Billy,_ you don't get to do that! You don't get to--to just _leave me_ like that! What _the hell_ is wrong with you!?" 

"Freddy--" Billy started. 

" _What?"_ Freddy hissed impatiently, fisting his shirt tighter. 

"If we're going to do this can you at least be in your normal form?" 

Super Freddy glared at him, but nevertheless he let go of the elder and backed up, yelling out "Shazam!" 

Billy didn't get much of a break for as soon as the smoke cleared he was shoved up against the wall a second time by Freddy Freeman. 

Billy flinched. "Freddy calm down--" 

" _Calm down??"_ Freddy repeated and scoffed. "Dude you're funny. You just tried to throw yourself off a _fucking building,_ you could've _died_ if I hadn't gotten here in time and caught you and you want me to _calm down??_ Do you have any idea of how fucking _terrified_ I was!? I didn't know where the hell you were, I didn't even expect you to be here but when I saw you I was so fucking scared, I didn't think I'd make it in time and then it would've been my fault a-and I w-wouldn't be able to live w-with myself if I hadn't caught you. You c-can't do that to me you jerk, what would I t-tell Rosa and Victor? Or Mary? Eugene, Pedro? _Darla?_ You c-can't do that to us, Billy, you can't do that to _me. I was so scared, I was so fucking scared, you scared the shit out of me don't you ever do that to me again Billy don't fucking scare me like that ever again or I swear to God I will beat your ass our next training session, shit Billy just please please don't ever scare me like that again, don't do that ever again please..."_

The tears that Freddy had been holding back were flying down his cheeks and before he could stop it a sob escaped his throat and many followed after it. 

Billy, feeling guilt ridden didn't know what to do. After a few more minutes of feeling guilty and helplessly listening to Freddy cry, he makes the decision to draw the latter in for a hug. 

Freddy sniffled and leaned into the embrace, sobbing whilst trembling violently. 

It felt like they stood there for an eternity. After a while, Freddy managed to calm down. 

"Billy?" he sniffed. "Can we go home now? _Both_ of us. Please." 

"...Yeah," Billy muttered finally. "Yeah, okay." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woooooooo this was a long chapter. I totally enjoyed writing it tho. Ack the angst, my heart!  
> (◕︿◕✿)
> 
> I think I’m gonna give myself a heart attack writing this XD 
> 
> Poor Freddy, not the precious cutie. Not only does he know his brother is basically suicidal, but he blames himself for it and believes he had something to do with Billy feeling this way, omg my heart. He found out in the worst possible way and it crushed him, but on the bright side now he knows and he’ll be able to help Billy. 
> 
> That is of course, if Billy’s not too prideful still. He’s really never been one to accept help, plus considering how low he feels rn I don’t think he’ll take it easily from Freddy. ┐(´ー｀)┌
> 
> He’ll be helped tho, Freddy loves his brother too much to just give up. 
> 
> Freddy Freeman, I salute you!  
> (^-^)ゝ
> 
> Also sorry for the lack of roles of other characters in this story and lack of Billy’s relationship with his other siblings and Rosa and Victor, trust me they’re there and the bonds are strong I’m just mainly focusing on these two boys’ relationship for a while, it’s so cute tbh, I’ll get to others in future, don’t worry. 
> 
> I hope y’all enjoyed the angsty no comfort chapter! Don’t worry, it’ll get better! ...Hopefully. 
> 
> Nah jk it will! 
> 
> ‘Til next time! ✌(‘ω’)
> 
> Edit: 9/13/19  
> Hi y'all. As you can see, if you read the whole thing I have added Alternate endings. Now these aren't obviously the official ending, hence why they are called Alternate. I just had three different ideas for this chapter, and I had to choose one so I settled on the one that's official, but I figured why stop there? I turned the remaining two ideas into alternate endings, just for fun. UwU 
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed those, and hope you are enjoying the story. Comments are greatly appreciated and keep up the kudos!! ★~(◠‿◕✿)


	5. There are far better things ahead than anything we leave behind

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Billy exhaled shakily as he stood at the edge of the rooftop. He gazed down at the long fall before him. He stared at the city lights, how they glimmered like millions of sparkling beads. 
> 
> He finally closed his eyes. 
> 
> 'Just do it!' He thought to himself. 'You can end it right here, Batson! Just do it, now!'

Billy didn't know how long it was or even how many hours passed until Freddy finally calmed down. All he knew was that he was vaguely aware of the fact that the younger teen had fallen asleep on him, most likely due to him crying so much. 

The brunette carefully gathered Freddy in his arms, picking him up as he stood and luckily not jostling the other boy from his slumber. His legs had fallen asleep because he was on the floor for so long, so his legs felt like jelly when he stood so fast and nearly fell, but thanks to his quick reflexes he regained his balance and remained on his feet. 

He carried his brother to their room as quietly as he could and once he was inside, he gingerly placed the crippled boy onto his bed. 

Billy huffed quietly, sitting down in a chair and gazing at the ceiling. 

A scowl tugged at his lips at the realization that he wouldn't be able to sleep. 

He _needed_ sleep, that was what he needed _most_ right now. 

But he knew that no matter how hard he tried, his body just wouldn't allow it. 

The teen picked himself out of the chair and silently crept to the window, sliding it open and climbing out remembering to shut it behind him. 

Billy returned to the fateful rooftop, sitting down with his legs dangling over the edge after turning back into his normal teenager form. 

He sighed brokenly as he rested his face on his knees, closing his eyes. 

* * *

When Superman first met Billy Batson, he was in his civilian form as Clark Kent. He had known the little troublemaker quite some time before he even got put into the foster home with the Vasquez Family. 

The man had originally assumed the boy had a home to go to, however that quickly changed after he noticed the brunette pickpocketing and monkey-shining. Not now and then, but pretty much every time he saw Billy. He had to admit, the teen was pretty good at it as nobody ever noticed when Billy snuck up behind them, grabbed their wallet and pulled out an unknown amount of cash before hastily shoving it back in and running off. 

Clark met Billy two months before the whole Sivana incident and his new foster home. He had followed the young 14-year-old home one night after his most recent and last monkey-shining of the day. He hid behind a corner of a wall and watched as Billy walked down that alleyway, running into some trouble in the process. 

_Five older men stood in his path, smirks plastered upon their faces. Billy tried to ignore them and attempted to walk past them, but scowled when one stepped in front of him, blocking his path._

_"What the hell, man? Let me through." Billy hissed in protest._

_The men all laughed at him._

_"Little scamp's got a tongue on him," One man, presumably the leader told the rest of the group._

_Billy glares at them as he backs up whilst they corner in on him._

_"What do you assholes want?" he bit out._

_The leader chuckles at this, "Don't act like you don't know. We've seen you running around and pickpocketing for quite a while. You must have **some** cash by now." _

_Billy clutched at his bag, glaring harder. "No way, man! I **need** this money." _

_The man's smirk fell and he growled, "Looks like we'll have to do this the **hard** way." _

_He snapped his head over at his gang. "Boys, **get him**!" _

_Billy tried to run, however it was futile as the men were faster. Two rammed him against the wall and held him there by the rim of his shirt while the other two ripped his backpack off. The brunette thrashed and kicked and cussed them out the whole time._

_The leader approached him. "Now. That wasn't so hard, was it?" He hummed._

_Billy panted, looking him right in the eyes as he growled, "Fuck you."_

_This caused the leader's face to contort into disgust, and without warning he delivered a heavy blow to the kid's face, causing Billy to cry out in agony and he clutched at his nose that instantly began bleeding._

_A parental instinct Clark didn't even know existed was triggered by this, and he decided that he wasn't going to stand by and watch this any longer._

_"Hey!" He yelled at the group, stepping out from behind his hiding spot. "Leave that kid alone!!"_

_The men looked over at him surprised. The leader's face hardened at him._

_"Or what?" He challenged._

_"Or you'll wish you never met me." Clark answered simply, voice eerily calm._

_The leader took his chances. "Go teach that idiot a lesson." He ordered and smirked at Billy. "I'll teach this one his."_

_The four men charged at Clark, but they didn't stand a chance. In a minute they were all launched in the air, hitting the walls and landing on the ground hard._

_The leader gaped at his crew, then gazed back at Billy who had a bloody nose, busted lip and right black eye along with some scratches across his face._

_He huffed angrily as he let go of Billy, walking over to his group and yanking them up._

_"Let's go" he hissed. "We'll get him next time."_

_The group of men rushed past Clark and out of sight, and Clark sighed while shaking his head. When he looked back in the alleyway, he was surprised to find Billy gone._

_How had the teen escaped so quickly?_

_Clark looked around a few more times before walking out and onto the streets._

_He would see Billy again._

_And he did._

_The next time he saw Billy was one day when he was on the streets and noticed Billy in a crowd. He approached the boy and gently pulled him out, much to Billy's discomfort and alarm. The teen relaxed just a little once he realized it was the man who had saved him weeks ago, however he maintained his suspicious glare. Clark introduced himself, and Billy cautiously did the same. Clark offered to take Billy out for lunch._

_Billy frowned, "I'm not hungry."_

_Not even a second later the teen's stomach growled, causing Billy's cheeks to flush in humiliation and Clark let out a rich chuckle._

_"Your stomach seems to disagree," he commented, amused. "Come with me. I know a good diner a block from here."_

_The boy thought this over for a minute. His stomach growled again and he ducked his head, ashamed._

_"Fine" Billy groaned. "Let's go.."_

_Clark smiled. "Great." He turned and began leading the way._

_"I can pay for myself." Billy states a few minutes later as he walks beside him._

_"No need. I'll treat."_

_Billy looked at him, surprised at first as he pushed his cash back into his pocket._

_"You don't have to do that..." he mumbled as he looked down._

_"I know, but I want to." Clark smiled again as he opened the door to the diner once they arrived and Billy bit back a smile of his own._

_Lunch turned into more of a Brunch since Billy hadn't eaten Breakfast yet. Billy was hungry, but didn't order too much in fear of costing Clark a lot of money. He got a stack of two pancakes, a burger and a drink. Luckily it was very filling and didn't cost Clark over thirty dollars._

_"Why are you doing this for me?" Billy asked as Clark signed the receipt and handed it to the waitress before she walked away._

_"Honestly?" Clark said, looking him dead in the eyes. "Because I can relate to you, in more ways than you know and nobody deserves to go through what you are right now."_

_Billy's heart pounded. So Clark knew that he was basically an orphan. "So you pity me? I'm a charity case or something?"_

_" **No.** I don't pity you. I **emphasize** with you, **not** sympathize. I'm doing this because I care and you deserve some help here and there." _

_"You barely know me." Billy challenged, sipping his soda. "How can you care?"_

_Clark cocked a brow at him, a glint of something Billy couldn't read shining in his eyes._

_"You know...you don't always have to **know** someone to care about them." _

_"What do you mean?"_

_Clark smiled softly. "Sometimes you just feel drawn to people, whether it be platonically or romantically. For example, you could just meet a person and suddenly they become the most important person to you in the world. It doesn't make sense, and it's honestly not supposed to make sense. You just...care. Another example is two friends. They see each other as big brother and little sister. The older brother figure has plenty of siblings and she has none, but those two facts have nothing to do with anything. For some reason she loves and admires and basically worships him, and he feels responsible to keep her safe because he loves her so much. You don't know why, but you just want to be there for that person or help them here and there. It's hard to explain, but the feeling is there and quite honestly that's what I feel with you. That's why I'm doing this. Not for charity or because I pity you, but because I want to help."_

_Billy's hard look softened and he merely looked down mutely as he finished his burger._

_"Thanks," Billy says as they step out of the diner. He awkwardly kicks a pebble on the ground. "For this...and for last time, too."_

_Clark grins, "It was my pleasure."_

_"So...I guess I'll see you around?"_

_"Yes you will. Have a good day, Billy."_

_Billy blushed as Clark reaches out and ruffles his mop of hair, and surprisingly he doesn't feel the urge to swat the man's hand away._

_The teen watches as Clark grins at him once more before disappearing down the streets after turning and walking away._

_Billy finally allows a grin of his own to cross his lips._

_Billy and Clark ran into each other plenty of times after that. Billy found out that Clark was Superman a week before his new foster home and family. The brunette was quite shocked to say the least. This whole time, he had been saved by **Superman?** He had been treated to lunch by **Superman?** He had been running into **Superman?** Billy didn't like to admit it, but despite being shocked he felt safer knowing that it had been Superman looking out for him this whole time. _

_He had told Clark about how he had been placed into another home, cheeks red with frustration. Clark calmly told him to give it a chance, a gentle nudge to his shoulder as he says so. That it was better than being an orphan, and that just because previous families threw him out on the streets, that didn't mean that this one would._

_Billy refrained from any further complaints yet maintained the sour look on his face._

_Clark found out about Billy being Shazam not too long after the teen became the Superhero. The man began tutoring the young boy to the best of his ability, and things have been going well since then._

...Until now. 

Superman had been flying around tonight because Bruce had told him to patrol some of Philly since Billy had been lacking lately. 

Superman frowned, unable to keep his mind off of wondering what could be going on with the kid. 

Speaking of which...

Superman squinted as he stared at a building in the distance. He noticed a figure on top of it, upon the ledge. 

...Was that Billy?

As he got closer, he noticed that it was indeed Billy. His smile dropped when he saw the boy jump off without transforming. 

_Oh shit._

Clark picked up his speed. 

Billy grunted as he felt himself being gripped from underneath. He frowned in confusion. 

Had he been caught?

"I'm really hoping that was an accident, Billy." 

Billy froze, blood running cold. He slowly looked up and visibly shrank. 

"Hi, Mr. Clark..." he mumbled. 

"...So that's why you've been doing this to yourself?" Clark asked a few minutes later after Billy explained everything, including the cuts and the scars. They were sitting on the edge a few inches apart, Billy having one leg dangling and the other pulled up to his chest. 

Billy nodded, a sour taste in his mouth. "Yeah." He admitted. 

Clark sighed softly. His tone wasn't stern and authoritative like it was a few minutes ago, but Billy was still apprehensive. 

"I can understand why you feel the way you do," The man started. "You've had a rough life, and when you've been rejected and left behind so many times in the past it's hard to shake the feeling that it will happen again. The world can be quite cruel and unaccepting when it wants to be. Sometimes it will beat you down and seems like it will never let up. There are people and situations that make us feel like we're not good enough." 

Billy met his gaze when Clark looked at him. "Your mother and past foster families for example." 

If Clark heard Billy make a slight choking noise at the mention, he didn't say anything and continued. 

"It's hard to not let it get to us, because at one time we deeply loved those who have hurt us. Deep down we always will, whether we admit it or not. But we need to learn to not let it get to us, because all thoughts like those do is hold us back. I personally know what it's like to lose one family and be afraid of losing another." 

Clark squeezed his shoulder. "But we can't allow that fear to control us. We can't always save everyone. Just because you can't save someone or you're not enough from time to time doesn't make you any less of a hero. In fact, it makes you more of a hero for even trying. I've seen so many rookie heroes cry over their first lost or missed. They're experienced now, and they _still_ cry, even today. Those people have the biggest, kindest hearts I've ever seen. Believe it or not, _you're_ the purest of them all. You're going to fail and not be good enough sometimes. That's part of life. But there are better ways to deal with such worries and pain. Torturing yourself and taking yourself out of the picture is not one of them." 

At some point Clark had pulled Billy close against his side, and for once Billy allowed it, leaning into him tiredly. 

"For example, talking about it. With those who care about you. Like your brother...Freddy, was it?" 

"Yeah," Billy snickered softly. "Sorry if he freaked you out with all that fanboying and questions." 

"No, not at all," Clark chuckled. "He's a nice kid. I quite enjoyed it actually. It'd be nice to see him again in the future even."

Billy's grin slowly faded from his face. "I should probably get back home. I bet he's freaking out." 

"You should." Clark agreed as the teen pulled away and stood. "It's not nice to worry people in situations like these." 

Billy nodded mutely, looking ahead and looking back at him. 

"Thanks..y'know, for tonight." He smiled sheepishly. 

"There really is no problem, Billy. I'm here anytime you need it." Clark riposted with a grin. 

Billy's cheeks colored a light pink and he nodded again. "Right. Thanks again. I'll see ya." 

The boy transformed into Shazam and jumped off the edge, speeding into the distance. 

* * *

When Billy sneaks in through the window, Freddy is sitting up in bed with his knees pulled up to his chest, chin resting upon them. He jumps at the sound of the window opening and his head snaps over to it ready to attack any kind of intruder. He froze, 'Shazam' dying on his lips when he saw a familiar person after the light of the lamp on the desk filled the room. 

"Just me," Billy assures quietly. 

" _Billy,"_ Freddy chokes, overwhelming relief flooding his veins. 

Said boy hesitated before walking over and sitting down roughly on Freddy's bunk, where Freddy wrapped his arms tightly around the older teen. 

"Dude, I didn't think you were coming back," Freddy told him tearfully, fighting a sob. "I thought you were dead." 

A great sigh passed Billy's lips and he nodded knowingly, gradually returning the embrace. "I'm sorry." He apologized bitterly. 

"You _better_ be! You fucking scared the shit out of me and you made the others worry like hell!" Freddy hissed, but he sounded more wrecked than dangerous as tears flew down his cheeks, "Where'd you _go_!?" 

Billy swallowed, "I was going to do it," he confessed, and that was all it took for a small sob to escape the younger's throat. "I went to an old secluded, abandoned building. I wasn't in my Shazam form. I was standing on the edge and I jumped off, but.."

"But?" Freddy pushed, sounding confused. 

Billy was silent for a minute, and the other boy waited patiently. He contemplated on telling Freddy the truth, that he hadn't _just_ met Superman before the lunch thing, but instead had met him two months before the Sivana incident and had known him ever since. He feels his heart ache, just a little, when he hears breathless sobs escape the other teen, Freddy clinging to him like a lifeline. 

Billy made up his mind and breathed slowly before deciding to speak. 

"I need to tell you something," he states. "But don't freak out, okay? I would've told you before, but...I never found the right time." 

He heard Freddy swallow audibly and say, "Okay." 

"Thanks. Well, uh..." he paused, then picked up again. "Listen, I didn't meet Superman or Clark as he likes to be called by those who know his Superhero identity, a week before surprising you at lunch. I actually knew him way before that. Two months before I met you guys actually. First met him when I was still an orphan. Saved me from some punks who were trying to steal the money I took. I needed it for food. He was there for me a few times after that, and he was there for me tonight. Got me to snap out of it. So yeah..."

Freddy had calmed down by now, and he laughed as he pulled away from the latter and faced him. 

"So basically, _Superman_ is some kind of _protector_ for you or something?" He beamed. 

Billy gave a crooked smile, "I guess? He said you were pretty cool too." 

"My brother has a Superhero protector who happens to be my idol who called _me_ cool? _Dude_ , that's _so_ awesome!!" 

Billy laughed at Freddy's optimism, amused. It was silent for a few minutes. 

"...We should get some sleep. It's been a long night." Billy says, getting up and approaching the ladder. 

"Hey," Freddy croaks softly and Billy looks at him. "...Can we talk about this in the morning?" 

Billy has a look of contemplation on his face, and Freddy's so scared that his brother will say no. So scared that he will come up with an excuse, something like "Tomorrow's Saturday, you know I hate getting up early on weekends" because they both know that they'll have to get up earlier than usual if they want to talk without any interruptions from the rest of the family. 

Billy yawns through an "Okay" and Freddy gives Billy a look of surprise. 

"Did you just say okay? You're gonna talk?" He asks, hoping he hadn't heard wrong. 

Billy cocked a brow at him as he gripped an upper ring of the ladder, "Of course? I mean, you're not gonna let me get away without one anyways...so...plus I kinda owe you an explanation for this whole mess and..." he waved his free hand in the air nonchalantly. "...Yeah. So yeah, we can talk. As long as I don't have to get up earlier than seven." 

Freddy stares at the boy for another minute or so as Billy resumed climbing the ladder before laughing whilst falling back on his pillow and wiping tears of relief. 

"You're such an ass. I fucking hate you." 

"Love you too," Billy hummed sarcastically from above him. "Go to sleep Freddy." 

Freddy shook his head, feeling himself relax by a lot. 

"Night Billy." 

"G'night Freddy." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! Woo I finally updated! UwU
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, speaking of which if you go back to Chapter 4 you'll see at the very end that I edited and left you guys a treat. Hope you like  
> (／▽＼)
> 
> This story is beginning to come to an end, we're almost there! Thank you all who have supported and loved, and keep those kudos and comments up! They are very much appreciated!!! (*^_^*)
> 
> Til' next time! Love y'all! (๑•́ ω •̀๑)


	6. I’m drowning and you’re standing three feet away(Screaming “learn how to swim”)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Should we wake and tell the kids?” Rose sniffled softly. 
> 
> “I don’t see a problem with it. They’ll understand.” Victor smiled and kissed her lovingly. “Besides all the kids love them but someone has to stay behind and watch the house.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *Sees I haven’t updated in a month*  
> Aghhhhhhh I must updatteee it’s driving me crazy!! 
> 
> Me: *flips off schoolwork for taking over my life*
> 
> Sorry y’all you know how school be lol. And life. I’ve been really busy but I’m so happy that I’m having the chance to update now! UwU 
> 
> No spoilers but let’s just say that something comes up, things work out in Freddy’s favour and Billy is nervous. But Billy won’t be the only one sharing, especially not at first. 
> 
> C’mon we all know this cute child is too stubborn to just share right off the bat. ☆⌒（＊＾∇゜）v  
> Anyways please enjoy! ✌(‘ω’)

_Billy hummed to himself as he played with his toys. He glanced at the clock whilst putting one of his robots down and frowned. He wished his mother would just get home already. He missed her._

_The boy wasn't like most kids his age. He was more of a loner. He never liked playing on the playground for some reason, and because of that he was stereotyped as the weirdo at the school, but he could care less. People were ignorant jerks sometimes. More like most of the time._

_But what made him the most angry was when kids way older than him would come up and bully him about his father and his whereabouts. It always made him so frustrated. He even got into fights because they said such awful things about his father, and even about his mother now and then as well._

_It always stressed his mother out and the 6-year old would get suspended for a week at the most. Billy felt bad, but at the same time he just couldn't help it. How was he supposed to know where his dad was? Whenever he asked his mother, she would just give an annoyed response, the reason being he was on a long vacation or something among those lines. But Billy knew it was a lie. He wasn't stupid._

_Everyone also knew that Billy and his mother were very poor, barely getting along. Boy did they love to tease and bully him about that. For some reason that didn't bother him as much as the topic of his father. He could just simply turn away from being called poor._

_He had gotten into another fight at school once again today and was of course suspended. He couldn't remember what was said or what was done, all he could remember was that it had pissed him off and he had given the bully a black eye and he himself had come out with a black eye and a few other scrapes and bruises as well._

_His mother was especially heated this time. She had even yelled and cursed a few times on the way home. Billy liked to tell himself that it was the situation she was pissed off at and not him, but the fact that she constantly screamed at him on the way home had genuinely proved him otherwise._

_She was always so scary when she got angry._

_The child was brought out of his thoughts when he heard a voice at the apartment door._

_"Psst Billy, open up." It was his mother's. She sounded...odd. "I forgot the keys," A small hiccup. "Open the door for me."_

_Billy felt anxious for a reason he couldn't explain. Nevertheless, he got up and approached the door, carefully unlatching each and every lock there being five in total._

_"Good boy," His mother hiccuped again after opening the door and walking inside, swaying ever so slightly and Billy resisted the urge to flinch._

_As he expected. She was drunk._

_"That school is full of a bunch of *hic* fucking idiots," She swore as she walked to the kitchen and Billy hesitantly trailed behind, head hung low._

_If one kid were to approach Billy and seem shocked that his mother cursed in front of him, he would shrug it off._

_Unlike most parents who taught their kids to not curse as much as possible, his mom cursed in front of him all the time. Even when she wasn't drunk. She never even called him out on it when he picked it up and started cursing._

_So honestly? He was used to it._

_However that never changed the growing knots of uneasiness in his stomach whenever she was like this._

_"Billy," his mother's voice snapped him out of his thoughts and he looked over to see her patting a chair next to her. She was sitting down at the table, first aid kit by her side. "come on. Let's get you patched up."_

_Billy hesitated._

_This only annoyed his mother and rage brewing in her eyes, she screamed, "NOW!"_

_The boy jumped and biting back a small whimper, rushed over and sat on the chair beside her, shaking a little._

_It was silent the whole time as his mother pressed medicine to all of his injuries._

_Billy suddenly asked softly, "Mom?"_

_"What?" She grumbled impatiently, dabbing at a wound with a cotton swab._

_"Why doesn't Dad live with us?"_

_His mother paused, and sighing she responded, "William, I'm not talking about this with you. I thought I made that very clear. Daddy's just on a very long vacation."_

_"But that's what you always say," Billy whined. "I wanna see him."_

_"You can't."_

_"Why??"_

_"Billy--"_

_"You never tell me anything!" Billy suddenly exclaimed tearfully, turning around. "I wanna know where he is!!"_

_Billy soon regretted his outburst, and before he got the chance to apologize, without a second thought his mother slapped him across the face so hard it caused him to fall off the chair._

_It stung so bad, and Billy began sobbing, clutching at his now reddened cheek. He looked up to see his mother staring down at him, fuming._

_"Don't you ever mention him again!" She screamed. "Go to your room! And if it's not cleaned by morning everything in there is gone! Go! NOW!"_

_Billy sobbed harder, and shakily picking himself off the floor he ran to his room, where he shut the door behind him and instantly broke down, sobbing whilst leaning against the door until he fell asleep._

* * *

Victor was awakened by the sound of soft sobbing. Groaning in confusion, he turned over and propped himself up on his elbows. Squinting, he noticed that the bathroom light was on and from the looks of it Rosa was inside, wiping her eyes with a tissue. 

He quickly became concerned and climbed out of bed, approaching the bathroom. 

"Rosa?" He asked softly, causing said woman to turn to him. "What's wrong?"

"Oh Victor I'm so sorry," she sniffled. "But I had to book us a flight to Michigan. My father's had a heart attack." 

"What?" Victor gaped, and without a second thought he closed the gap between them in a tight embrace that she gladly accepted. "Oh my God, _I'm_ so sorry. Is he alright?" 

"Yes, but he'll most likely need surgery. I need to be there for him. I hope it's not too much, asking you to be there with me." 

"Of course not! Say no more," Victor riposted, pulling away and wiping some of her tears. "What time do we have to be at the airport?" 

"In an hour." Rosa sighed shakily. 

"I can be ready in twenty minutes." Victor smiled reassuringly. 

"Gracias, Querido." Rosa whispered softly. "Should we wake and tell the kids?"

"I really don't see a problem with it. They'll understand." Victor grinned and kissed her lovingly. "They all love your parents, and I'm sure they'll all want to go but someone has to stay behind and watch the house." 

"Mary will definitely want to come. It's going to be one of her last few visits with my parents before she leaves for college. Even if it's not the most positive of visits, nothing can stop that girl when she wants something." Rosa giggled weakly. 

"And Darla's crazy about them," Victor added with a chuckle. "She just loves showering them with affection. And your parents do have an indoor gym, so while Pedro will be worried as well he'll jump on the opportunity to take his mind off of the problem at hand and work out. Eugene actually loves to be around them and likes visiting instead of having his face stuck in his computer as much, which is something I've never figured out. He never does that with us." Victor laughed some more. "Oh well. They're special I guess." 

"So that just leaves Billy and Freddy," Rosa stated quietly. "I'm a lot more comfortable with the fact that Billy won't be alone. And that he'll be with Freddy. I'm worried about Billy." 

"I am too," Victor admitted. "Have you noticed that Freddy's been on edge lately?" 

"On edge?"

"Yes. Like, you know...I suppose the best way to explain it is that he's been... _scared_ of something?" 

"I've noticed that too." Rosa nodded. "He seems really shaken, and whenever he's approached on it he avoids it. What is going on with those boys? Perhaps it's just something between them?" 

"I get that feeling." Victor smiled again. "And if it is, perhaps it really is the best option to leave them here to take care of each other and sort it out. They don't really talk to anyone besides each other anyways." 

"You're right." Rosa finally smiled back. She leaned against him. "Im sorry for waking you, mi amor." 

"Don't worry. You're going through a rough time." He kissed her again, causing her to giggle. "You have nothing to be sorry for. Let's get ready, and then we'll wake up the kids and talk to them." 

"Alright." Rosa riposted.

* * *

Freddy awoke to the sound of birds chirping outside the window. He groaned, pulling his blankets up higher on his body, shivering slightly at the sudden cold that filled the room. 

"Billy?" He called up to the older teen softly. 

"Still here." Billy replied sleepily and Freddy sighed to himself in relief. 

"You know if you ever scare the shit out of me like that again I'm gonna beat your ass." He stated, rolling over. 

"Mhmm." 

"So why?" 

Billy froze. "Why what?" He asked hesitantly. 

Freddy let out a shaky sigh, still waking up and preparing himself for such a sensitive conversation at seven in the morning. "Y'know. Why'd you wanna kill yourself? I mean, you said yourself that you owe me and you're damn right you do. I didn't get scared shitless for no reason, so it better be a pretty good one." 

It was Billy's turn to sigh. He opened his mouth. "I--"

He was cut off by the sound of knocking at the door and they both jumped. 

"Boys?" Victor's voice faded in. "Are you up?" 

Freddy sat up and Billy climbed down the ladder. 

"Uhh yeah Victor, what's up?" Freddy replied. 

"Can we talk to you downstairs for a minute?" 

"Right now?" Billy asked as he threw off his pajama top and put on a T-Shirt before turning and throwing one of Freddy's super T-shirts and a pair of jeans at him. 

"Yeah, it'll only take a few minutes." 

Billy glanced at Freddy who looked anxious. He knew how bad Freddy wanted to talk to him but he shrugged and mouthed to the younger boy 'It'll only take a few minutes'.

Freddy glared but replied, "We'll be right there, Victor." 

"Awesome. Try to get down as soon as possible if it's not too much trouble, boys."

The duo heard the sound of Victor's footsteps fading away. 

"What do you think they wanna talk to us about?" Freddy asked as he pulled on his jeans, wincing as a small arrow of pain shot through his leg. 

Billy shrugged, making an "I dunno" sound. "Maybe a family trip or something?" He added a minute later as Freddy pulled on his Aquaman logo T-Shirt. 

"We haven't had one of those in a while." Freddy stated with a grunt as he grabbed his crutch, leaning on it. "Last time we went to...Disneyland, I think. We had to practically pry Darla away from Minnie Mouse before we could leave." 

This caused Billy to laugh. "How'd that go?" 

"Not well," Freddy answered dryly, but there was a shadow of a smirk pursing his lips. "We almost went deaf from all her shouting and crying. Victor's strongly considering _never_ going there again." 

Billy chuckled some more as he opened the door and they both walked out, Freddy ahead of him. 

Both boys frowned once they approached the kitchen, noticing how Rosa was visibly crying, Victor looked a little stressed and Darla, Mary, Eugene and Pedro all had suitcases. 

"Is everything okay?" Freddy was the first to question in concern. "Victor? Why is Rosa crying?" He looked at his siblings. "And why do you guys have suitcases? Where're you going?" 

Victor sighed, "Everything's alright, boys it's just...you remember Rosa's parents?" 

"Yeah?" Billy and Freddy answered in unison, both equally confused. 

"Well, her father had a heart attack. He's alright, but they're going to perform surgery in just under two hours and we're going to visit him. Mary, Pedro, Eugene and Darla really wanna go, I'm sure you guys do too but we can't take everyone. We can just barely afford six people. Plus we need someone to stay behind and watch the home." 

"I hope that's okay with you two." Rosa sniffled, more tears streaking her cheeks. 

Freddy again was the first to snap out of his shocked daze and he nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, we're--we're okay with it." He moved in to hug his foster mother and Billy followed suit. "We're so sorry, Rosa." 

"Oh, you boys," Rosa cried, squeezing them lightly. "Thank you. We'll be back in two days, three tops so take care of each other." She uttered and pressed a quick kiss to both of their heads. 

"We will." Billy murmured and after another minute they pulled away. 

The duo hugged each family member, and when they got to Darla she threw one arm around each of their torsos. 

"I'm gonna miss you guys! Don't forget to answer when I call!!" She said with the same happy energy she somehow always managed to maintain and Billy and Freddy laughed. 

"We'll miss you too." Freddy riposted. 

"We'll remember." Billy added. 

"Good." Darla grinned, pulling away. "Bye!" She grabbed her suitcase and ran out the door than Victor was holding open so she could get in the van. 

Billy and Freddy walked Rosa to the door where she embraced them one more time. 

"I love you, mis amores." She smiled weakly.

"Love you too." Billy and Freddy smiled in response. 

She gave them a blow kiss before walked out the door, shutting it behind her. They heard the van start up outside and drive away, the sound of the engine disappearing in the distance. 

"Well," Billy huffed, walking away from the door. "What do you wanna do?" 

"Talk?" Freddy asked and Billy flinched. 

"Right now?" The brunette asked somewhat apprehensively. 

"Nah, in ten years." 

"Great. I'll see you then." Billy said hurriedly and walked towards the kitchen. 

"Billy!" Freddy exclaimed in frustration and carefully followed him where he saw the teen pulling out a carton of milk and pouring some into a glass. "Do you really think you can just turn away from this?! How long do you plan to run away!?"

"Long as I want to." Billy muttered as he put the carton back in the fridge and turned to leave the room, sipping some milk. 

Before he could get far, Freddy reached out and grabbed his arm in a vice grip. Billy didn't try to pull away. He just stood there, motionless. 

"You _promised_." Freddy swallowed. "You promised you'd talk to me. You seriously think I'm gonna let this go?? After I see f-fucking _cuts_ on your arms?! After you leave me all alone in the middle of the night, wondering where the fuck you were!? Scared to fucking death that you threw yourself off a building?!? We live together--literally in the same fucking room, you can't just keep running from me! You're going to have to face your demons sooner or later!!" 

Billy still didn't respond and Freddy grew more desperate. 

"Billy, you're my best friend." He stated, voice cracking. "I _care_ , even if I don't show it 24/7 I care. And if you seriously think I wouldn't care if you were to kill yourself and cut? Then you don't know me as well as you think you do and you have a lot of screws loose. It's not like we have to have some sappy emotional, bawling session I just want to know what's wrong. I want to help. But I can't. Not if you keep slamming the door in my face which is what you've done since you've been here. It's like 2 steps forward but 3 steps backwards with you. I want you to trust me Billy, I know that's asking a lot but please, dude. _Please_." 

Billy finally sighed, "I never said I didn't trust you. I do, really. But this isn't something you can just force out of someone, especially if that someone's me. I did promise I'd talk to you, and I did promise today, but I never said when. And just Because when isn't now doesn't mean I won't keep my promise to you. You've already been put through enough so far, don't you want a little break? Watch TV or something?" 

Billy finally turned to face him, and he was startled to see Freddy glaring at him. 

"Whatever." Freddy muttered, blinking back tears in his eyes. "You trust me? Sure, Batson. No you don't. Because if you really did, we wouldn't be standing here right now! I don't need a fucking break! I need my brother back! Watching fucking TV isn't going to solve our problems!" 

He suddenly let out a helpless, sharp exhale of air. " _For once I wish you would stop treating me like those families before us!! For once I wish you would talk to me!! For once I wish you would stop treating me like I'm gonna get up and abandon you at any minute because I can't! Literally! And even if I could I wouldn't! And for once I wish you would treat me like you care about me like I do with you!"_

"I care, Freddy!" Billy cut in, alarmed slightly at how worked up the latter was getting. "I'm shitty at showing it but I care! Look--" he paused and sighed before continuing. "We _will_ talk, okay? Just not right now." 

Freddy rolled his eyes and turned to walk away. "Yeah, whatever you say." 

"Where are you going?" Billy questioned. 

"To my room to read my comics. We're getting nowhere, so..." 

"Come on, Freddy." Billy groaned. "I'll talk to you eventually." 

"Yeah and when that eventually comes.." Freddy's voice suddenly became thick with tears and he swallowed hard. "You know where to find me." 

Billy huffed as he watched Freddy disappear up the stairs. He fell back on one of the chairs, putting his head in his hands. 

"Damn it.." he cursed to himself. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What'd I tell you? This child is very stubborn. Don't worry though, some sharing WILL occur next chapter. But like I said, Billy won't be the only one sharing.  
> (＾⌒＾*)
> 
> Yup lots of angst going on here, prepare for a whole lot more when sharing FINALLY happens next chapter! Keep up the kind comments and kudos, they help a whole lot! Tysvm! 
> 
> Anyways hoped you guys enjoyed, sorry if it seems rushed but as I said before quite a bit will happen next chapter, so stay tuned! Thanks again! 
> 
> Love y'all, til next time!! (´｡• ω •｡`) ♡


	7. But if I sit in the rain maybe I can drown in something other than my own thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chances are if you want someone to open up to you, you have to open up to them as well. 
> 
> Or
> 
> A holiday movie is turned on, hot cocoa and popcorn is made, blankets are brought out and deep conversations aka bonding finally ensues.

_"I didn’t think you were the type to come up to the roof and reflect on deep thoughts.”  
_

_ Freddy didn’t even turn at the teasing tone of his cocky brunette best friend.  
_

_ ”Just wanted time to y’know...think. For a while.” Freddy replied softly. _

_ Behind him Billy shifted, crossing one leg over the other. “Well...Rosa said dinner's ready. So you should probably come in soon.”  
_

_ He turned to leave, but was stopped by Freddy’s reply.  
_

_ “I’m not hungry.”  
_

_ The older turned back around, surprised.  
_

_ “You’re not hungry?” Billy repeated, stepping closer to his friend and brother. “You? The guy that’s practically always hungry? The guy who practically eats a Thanksgiving feast in a week?”  _

_ Freddy’s eyes narrowed as he pulled his good leg from it’s dangling position over the edge of the roof up against his chest, leaning his chin on his knee. _

_ “Yeah yeah, I know how I’m famous. I’m not hungry, bottom line. You can go now.” He said brusquely, a snap in his tone.  
_

_ Billy frowned, startled by the curly haired teen’s irritation. He knew everyone got irritated now and then, including Freddy, but he wasn’t used to seeing the bubbly, superhero-loving, energetic teen like this.  
_

_ Even worse he didn’t know what happened to make him this way.  
_

_ Against his better judgment, he stepped closer.  
_

_ “Did something happen?” He asked quietly.  
_

_ Freddy didn’t answer, visibly hunching over further in his position.  
_

_ A good five minutes passed and Billy was about to give up for good when Freddy spoke up.  
_

_ “Can I ask you something?” The younger teen asked, eyes locked upon the sunset, somewhat mesmerised by the orange-pink hue.  
_

_ Billy straightened his back, “Sure, I guess...shoot.”  
_

_ “Did you love your dad?”  
_

_ The brunette blinked, startled. Wow. That definitely wasn’t the question he was expecting. Why was Freddy asking him this of all things? Why so suddenly?  
_

_ Nevertheless, he humoured Freddy and cleared his throat. “I loved him because he was my dad, but that’s as far as it went,” he found himself admitting, surprised at the words tumbling out of his mouth. “I guess in a way I always will, even though I never met him. I mean growing up, my mother didn’t paint a very...kind picture of him in my mind. All I ever really knew and will know is he left me and my mom when I was a baby, dumping all the hard work onto her. That’s kind of why I have mixed feelings about him. She never told me anything, so for all I know she could have been lying. I dunno. I didn’t have a good relationship with my parents obviously. And asfucked up as it sounds, I liked being on the streets better than being with my mom. It never felt like a home there. But hey that really doesn’t matter now.”  _

_ Billy shrugged. “But yeah. Yeah, of course I loved him.”  
_

_ “So I’m guessing he never raised a hand to you considering how you never knew him.” Freddy mumbled, almost inaudibly.  
_

_ Billy’s frown deepened, slightly concerned now. “Where is this coming from, dude? Is something wrong?”  
_

_ Freddy sniffled and shook his head, and Billy noticed him raising an arm and wiping it across his cheeks.  _

_ ”N-No. No, nothing’s wrong. I was just wondering, honest. Sorry for inconveniencing you.” Freddy uttered.  
  
_

_ “You’re not inconveniencing me, Freddy.” Billy riposted just as quietly. “We can talk anytime. I mean, I won’t always know what to say but I’ll be here.”  
_

_ Freddy nodded mutely as he grabbed at his crutch and shakily stood.  
_

_ Billy waited as Freddy made his way over to where he was. However, when the raven haired teen reached him he stopped.  
_

_ Billy raised a brow, confused.  
_

_ “Can I, uhhh.....” Freddy chewed his lip, cheeks burning as he looked down at his feet. “Have a, Uhm...y’know...” he trailed off, unable to say it.  
_

_ Billy was silent until he finally came to the conclusion on his own. Everyone knew how much Billy didn’t like touching, especially hugs. He loved his own personal space. But for his family he made exceptions.  
_

_ And that included Freddy.  
_

_ “Yeah.” Billy answered. “Yeah, sure.”  
_

_ Freddy barely looked up before Billy stepped forward and wrapped his arms around him. It wasn’t like the loose hugs he got Billy’s first week in the Foster home. It was tight and genuine.  
_

_ The latter sighed shakily, unable to help a few tears falling as he hid his face in the older boy’s shoulder.  
_

_ “Thanks, Billy.”  
_

_ Billy hummed, giving a tight squeeze that caused a small sob to escape Freddy.  
_

_ They stayed like that for a while before they finally went down for dinner. _

* * *

Billy was awakened by the sound of the phone ringing. He blinked blearily as the world slowly came into view. 

When he glanced outside, he noticed it was darker than it previously was when he fell asleep. 

He checked his watch on his wrist. 

4:03 p.m. 

Five hours. He had been asleep for five hours. He had never slept in for five hours before. Usually right at 8 a.m. Darla was in his and Freddy’s room, shaking both of them awake to play with her. 

He never got more than one hour of extra sleep on the weekends. 

So in a way it kind of felt nice. 

Yawning, Billy stretched his limbs. He just remembered that the phone was still ringing and jumped up from his spot on the couch to run over to get it, his legs nearly giving out on him several times due to falling asleep. 

“Hello?” He asked once he snatched the phone up and answered, slightly breathless from the rush over. 

“Hello?” Mary’s voice echoed back, then continued cheerfully. “Hi Billy! How are things going at home?” 

Billy smiled sheepishly, leaning against the counter. “Alright,” he lied. “How are things there? Rosa’s dad, is he...?” 

“Ah..the surgery went well. But we’re waiting for him to wake up. Could take a few more hours from what we heard.” Mary explained whilst sighing. “You sure you guys are okay? I know you had some...issues before we left.” 

Billy’s smile dropped and he swallowed. 

“...Billy?” 

“Y-Yeah I’m here, sorry.” Said teen mumbled. “I really can’t say much. All I can say is that it’s been complicated.” 

“Well,” he could hear the frown in Mary’s tone. “The best thing you can do when things are like that is try to approach the situation. And if that fails, give each other space. If that fails too, find something to do together to take your mind off the problem at hand at least for the time being.” 

“Like what?” Billy blinked. 

“Uhm, not sure. Go to the park, chat, watch a movie....anything distracting, really. Then when you guys feel you’re ready approach it again.” 

Billy swallows again and smiles weakly. “Okay. Look, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later. Thanks for the advice, Mary.” 

“No problem. I love you guys.” 

“We love you too.” 

The phone clicked as Billy hung it up and placed it in the cradle. 

The teen walked upstairs to get some supplies. 

Freddy was lying on his stomach on his bed in his and Billy’s room, reading some of his comics when the older teen walked in with his arms full of blankets and two mugs. 

The curly haired teen gave him a look, “What’re you doing, Batson?” 

Billy shrugged, “I’m bored. Let’s watch a movie.” 

Freddy frowned. “Why should we watch a movie instead of going out for patrol or something?” 

Billy chuckles, “Dude, c’mon. It’s the weekend, I haven’t heard about anything bad and besides, I’m tired and so are you. Let’s take a little break. I’ve got hot cocoa mix and popcorn out in the kitchen.” 

Freddy placed his comic book down and chewed his lip, “The dark kind?” He asked quietly. 

“Of course.” 

The younger teen thought for a few more minutes before sighing and sitting up. 

“Alright, fine.” He muttered as he grabbed his crutch. “What’re we watching anyways?” 

“You’ll see when we get down there.” 

Freddy rolls his eyes as he cautiously follows Billy down the stairs and into the kitchen. 

It’s silent as Freddy watches the popcorn pop in the microwave and Billy makes the hot chocolate behind him, gazing at the mug as he stirs the mix in. 

When they’re finished Freddy sets the big bowl of popcorn onto the table beside the couch and Billy sets the mugs of steaming hot chocolate beside it. 

Freddy glances at the movie on the couch cushion and picks it up as Billy moves to the DVD player to turn it on. 

“Rudolph, dude? Really?” Freddy asks, unable to bite back his grin. 

Billy shrugs, “Never seen it before.” 

Freddy threw him a shocked look. “ _What_ ? Seriously?! You’ve never seen Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer!? Tell me you’re messing with me!!” 

“I’m not,” Billy chuckles, shoulders shaking. “I promise. My mom wasn’t a big fan of the holidays so we never really got into the spirit. Darla’s been pestering me about watching it, but we never got the chance yet.” 

Billy looks over his shoulder at him, amusement shining in his green eyes. “Speaking of which, she’ll probably want to watch it when she comes back so don’t tell her I saw it with you.” 

Freddy snorted. “I won’t, childhood-deprived maniac.” 

“Shut up.” Billy shoots back with a snigger, slapping Freddy on the back of the head lightly as he grabs the case and takes the disc out. 

After the movie is put in and the previews start, Billy settles on the couch with the blankets. 

Freddy tentatively sits next to him, their shoulders and legs touching. 

Billy hands Freddy a blanket and his mug and Freddy thanks him, blowing on the hot drink and taking a sip.

About halfway through the movie, Freddy finds himself thinking back to what happened the other night and fights back tears.   
  


He wished Billy would just talk to him. He knew he sounded pushy, but he wasn’t trying to be. He was just worried. The older teen had no idea how terrified he was.   
  


Freddy chewed the inside of his cheek as he thought about what Rosa had once told him.   
  


_If you want someone to open up to you, you have to open up to them first._

The boy sighed shakily. That meant sharing something he found truly embarrassing in his opinion, not to mention quite hard to talk about.   
  


But if it meant getting Billy to talk...

Freddy reaches out and grabs the remote, pausing the movie.   
  


“Look dude, I need to tell you something. But don’t laugh, alright?” He uttered, feeling Billy’s perplexed gaze on him.   
  


Billy frowned. “Okay? What’s up?”   
  


Freddy swallows and looks down.   
  


“When I first came here,” Freddy murmurs softly, picking at his fingernails. “I had Aphenphosmphobia.”   
  


Billy’s frown deepened. “You were scared of being touched?” He had learned earlier in the school year about common phobias and unique phobias in one of his classes, and he for one found the unique ones interesting more than anything, especially when he learned about Aphenphosmphobia. “Why?”  


“Like I told you when you first came here, my family was a bunch of jerks. Especially my dad. He would always come home hammered every night and he and my mom would always argue. He always got violet when he got drunk, too. He of course never did anything weird, but he would always touch me in violent fashions like shove me or slap me, or sometimes even punch me. After a while it got so bad to the point where I couldn’t stand being touched. I thought that every time someone touched me, they were going to hurt me. They weren’t going to, but...” 

Freddy exhaled shakily, pausing.   
  


“It was the fear.” Billy finished for him quietly in understanding.   
  


Freddy nodded. “Yeah, exactly. It was just all really scary. After a while the school noticed all the bruises on my back and everything, and that’s how I ended up in the Foster System and here. I never let Rosa, Mary, Victor or not even Darla touch me for the longest time, and I always got scared easily when any of them got the slightest bit angry, which was rare but it was still terrifying for me for a while. It took a year at most, but it was just...hard beyond imagination. I can’t stand thinking about what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t been placed here.”   
  


Freddy finished, visibly shuddering.   
  


Guilt engulfed Billy. “I’m sorry, Freddy.”   
  


Said teen looked at him. “For what?” He asked, even though he already knew what.   
  


“For putting you through this.” Billy stated. “You don’t deserve it.”   
  


Freddy’s eyes narrowed. “Whether I deserve it or not doesn’t matter. Neither does what you think you’re putting me through. I don’t care about all of that. I care about _you_ , and you being _okay_ and more importantly _alive_ and _staying_ that way.”   
  


“I know,” Billy huffed in frustration, looking away. “I know I’m fucked up. It just doesn’t feel like I fucking matter.” He admitted quietly.   
  


“Dont say that about yourself. And what do you mean? You’re my brother, of course you matter. You matter to me, to Mary, Darla, Eugene, Pedro, Rosa and Victor. You matter more than you think you do, Billy. I wouldn’t have gotten scared shitless if you meant nothing to me—to _us_.”   
  


“I guess part of it has to do with how I grew up.” Billy hummed, leaning back slightly. “Back in the early days. With my mom.”   
  


“Did she tell you something?” Freddy asked gingerly.   
  


“Lots of things.” Billy found himself admitting. “She called me worthless, said that I was a mistake, that I had no place in this world, that I didn’t matter, how pathetic I was and how much of a brat I was...” he snickered bitterly. “Guess she was right. Why else would so many foster and adoptive systems have rejected me?”   
  


“That’s fucking bullshit.” Freddy said, shaking his head angrily. “What kind of loving mother tells her _own kid_ that? And no she wasn’t right. Don’t say that, Billy. Those systems were idiots to shut you down.”   
  


“But I shut them down too.” Billy reminded. “I ran away from people. _Good_ people.”   
  


“My statement still stands.” Freddy said defiantly. “So you made a few mistakes. Everyone does. And you were going through a lot at the time. We all have and we all do and we all will. They were still blind to see how great of a person you really are.”   
  


Freddy leaned his full weight against his older brother, resting his head on his shoulder tiredly. “You’re a great person, Billy. And you’re a really good brother. Never forget that. Yeah you can be a jerk sometimes, but we still all love you. That will never change. Just promise me you’ll let me help you from now on, and promise me that when you feel this way you’ll come to me. I won’t tell the others if you don’t want me to. Just promise me you’ll stop doing this. Please.”   
  


Billy swallows before murmuring, “I promise.”   


“Thank you,” Freddy breathes in relief, “Now can we go back to the movie that I still can’t believe you haven’t seen your whole life?”   
  


Billy laughs and he plays the movie.   


They laugh and chat throughout the whole movie while drinking hot chocolate and eating popcorn, snuggled beneath blankets and leaning on one another.   
  


It isn’t until the end of the movie that Billy hears a soft snore and notices that Freddy had fallen asleep on him.   
  


Billy chuckled and rolled his eyes. It seemed that from the looks of it they would have to pull an all nighter out on the couch tonight.   
  


He didn’t mind. He was exhausted anyways.    
  


Adjusting himself carefully so that he didn’t wake up his sleeping brother, he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep, feeling that for the first time things would actually be okay. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally Billy talked to Freddy! Woo! I enjoyed writing this chapter! :3
> 
> Two more chapters and I’m done! Yes!!! 
> 
> I hope you guys enjoy this, and please comment as they are greatly appreciated!! 
> 
> I love you all, and until next time!!


End file.
